By Monique Coombs
The views expressed in this blog post belong to the author and not necessarily everyone that writes on behalf of this blog.
HuffPost Women recently published an article, "Why My Husband Will Always Come Before My Kids."
As a strong, confident woman in a healthy relationship- I really liked
the article and thought the author was spot on. An excerpt: "I strongly
believe that modeling a healthy relationship for our children
sets the foundation for how they form bonds when they get older. In my
opinion, my husband and I are the first example of what being in a happy
marriage is like. Our kids learn how they should treat their future
significant others (and what they should expect in return) by watching
us."
I don't want to get into that too much other than
to say- I wonder what some of the people who were commenting on this
article would think about fishing families- who tend to put fishing
first? I thought about the article from HuffPost quite a bit and I think
my husband and I do put each other first- and then the kids. We're the
adults, we know best, and we don't want to raise little assholes. But,
we also put fishing first quite a bit...
If the kids
have an event my husband will do his best to be there but sometimes the
weather is really good that day and not so good the next few days- so he
goes fishing. It's tough for me to find a regular job that allows for
me to to be there for my kids when my husband is out fishing, and I
would never expect my husband to quit fishing so I could get a job. (Settle down. Herm is not my sugar daddy. I have a strong work ethic, too- but, honestly, it's hard to have a 9-5- job when there's opportunities go fishing in the summer. I have my priorities straight.) When
I make plans to do things in Portland with friends and they ask if Herm
will be joining- I just say- I don't know but I'll be there. (I have
some married friends that don't ever seem to make plans without their
spouse.)
When Herm and I were first married I would
get upset when I tried to make plans and he would say "we'll see" or
"depends on the weather." Now, I never wait for him. I just go about
making plans and if he can join, I'm thrilled- and if he can't then
that's OK, too. I guess, in a way, being married to a fisherman has
helped me to be more confident and independent- which, of course, helps
me to be a better role model for the kids.
I happen to
really enjoy fishing, too- so Herm and I try to get out fishing
together during the summer, and we often take the kids for day trips
around the islands. I think it's so great that we get to share a passion
as a family.
Much like how the author of the HuffPost
article points out that she is modeling a good relationship for her
kids, I believe that fishing families tend to model a strong work ethic
for kids- as well as a strong passion for a certain way of life. I
often see "I hate Mondays-esque" posts on Facebook or random "Why your
job is killing you" articles- but I don't ever think that pertains to
fishing. I hope my kids grow up and find something they love to do as much as my
husband loves to fish. I hope that they find something in their life
that challenges them and helps them prioritize and make good choices-
and I hope they find a partner that helps them balance their life.
FYI:
The Chix Who Fish blog is for all women in all aspects of the fishing
industry: wives, scientists, policy experts, fishermen, bait dealers,
seafood dealers, etc. Actually, if you're a dude who would like to write
something, please let us know! We want a wide range of opinions and
pieces to illustrate just how diverse the fishing industry is.
Chix Who Fish
Recognizing the important role women play in all aspects of the commercial fishing industry.
Monday, April 27, 2015
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
What is it like to be a woman fisherman?
I am the captain of the F/V Hello Darlin’ II, a commercial
lobster boat out of Stonington, Maine. I love to talk about fishing and the
industry, and I’ll talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere. When I tell someone what
I do for a living inevitably the conversation always turns to, “What is it like
to be a female commercial fisherman?” I don’t blame people for asking;
commercial fishing is after all a male-dominated industry that romanticizes the image of the grizzled old sea salt.
Being a woman who works on the
water is a lot of things: it’s satisfying and exhilarating and nerve wracking
and rewarding and frustrating and deeply gratifying. I can’t say for certain,
but I imagine these are the same feelings expressed by all fishermen,
regardless of their gender or fishery. I tell people that if you take care of your boat
and your gear and put in your days you will do just fine. But that doesn’t typically
suffice or answer their question… They don’t want to hear about what makes me
the same as other fisherman, they want to know how being a woman makes
things different.
The difference does not come from
those with whom I share the ocean. My fellow fishermen have always treated me
nearly the same as they would any other crewman or captain. I say nearly because
they usually are considerate and look the other way while I pee out the scupper instead
of over the rail. Throughout my fishing career I have been privy to the same pranks, encouragement, lessons, teasing and advice as
other young fishermen. The pressure to do as well as the boys came from me, not
from them, and I’m proud of myself and of the other women I know who have the
ability to keep up with the demands of the job. What we may lack in strength,
we make up in speed, and a good crew is comprised of many working parts that
compliment each other. I have yet to meet a woman who was somehow less able to
steer a boat, tie a knot, chart a course or set a trap based solely on her gender. Contrary to popular belief there is much, much more to a successful fishing operation than the ability to pick up heavy objects.
Sure, there are exceptions. Fortunately
the commercial fishing industry is an occupation based on respect and some of
those notions may change over time. One of my favorite experiences
of this nature began when I started the two year apprentice program for my Maine lobster
license. An older fisherman asked me good naturedly if I was going to cook or
fish? I told him I was going to do both. A few years later when I bought my
first boat he gave me a huge truck load of used rope to get started with.
A couple of years after that, his daughter-in-law was the photographer at my
wedding. I believe I have done well to show him that women can successfully
manage a fishing business and a home. I love to fish, and I also love to cook, especially when I harvested dinner myself.
Genevieve McDonald
F/V Hello Darlin' II
Stonington, Maine
Thursday, April 2, 2015
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Chix Who Fish is made up of women from all over the world working in all aspects of the fishing industry: from on the boat, to in the office and in the home- Chix Who Fish make this world go round.
Chix Who Fish is made up of women from all over the world working in all aspects of the fishing industry: from on the boat, to in the office and in the home- Chix Who Fish make this world go round.
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